Feeling like bleurgh recently.

Well I'm guessing everyone has days when they are feeling 'bleurgh'- and yes it is a real word! But according to an online dictionary it is not. So now I will give it meaning. "Refers to when one is feeling down in the dumps and a bit sad (boo-hoo not pathetic)and therefore listens to, consistently, pop songs from the 90's and early noughties." Well in my case thats what I do currently listening to Five: Everybody get up singing...wow I really have no life do I? (though it is 1 in the morning).

So yea about a week ago i was feeling pretty happy with myself- you know, socialising a bit more, going out, feeling confident about my 30 minute, happy in my accomodation, happy about next year,sunshine, flattered with two 'interests', (it rarely happens in my world).

And then boom! The inner scriptwriter just isn't feeling it...today, or yesterday or even the day before. So my 30 min has come to a standstill- and now we have an essay and SiP to be also worrying about as well as typing up notes and trying to sort out contract for a house/flat next year- just sort of builds up without you really noticing you know what I mean?

And then one interest hasn't been in contact with you for nearly 2 weeks after probably a good week of daily contact and then he sorts of disappears- now dont go thinkin im the kind of girl who after one encounter gets obsessed with a guy cause i dont- i rarely go for guys but it was nice talking to him- and maybe im over analysing things like i always do and maybe he still hasnt got internet or whatever and plus he has exams....i know EXACTLY what you are thinking.... WAY OVER ANALYSING things- but it would be nice to hear from him cause he is a nice guy and a nice friend.
The othe guy well was asking inciteful questions about myself (yet againa first for me) and it was like hmmm interesting....he walked me to my bus stop and everything.... and then we went out the other day and he just didnt bother- and once again i hear you asking did i? no cause i am shy and nervous...and ill try and conquer that before second year- second chances and all that jazz.

And then i feel tired all the time and my cold seems to be going and then not going...and then its all like bleurgh....you know. Sometimes all I need is a good hug- even if its from a random stranger or someone i barely know. I think everyone needs that- and to hug a stranger is one of my things i wanna do before i am thirty! yes i know... dunno when ill do it but ill do it!

But yes... now I am ready to go home for Easter- train tickets are booked (ive wasted £10 but still its fine- could of brought 10 boxes of limited edition toy story three cereals but whatever...) and to see my Bobby...ive missed him loads... and more so than ever now- I look forward to 4 solid months of walks, treats and photo time with him. Yes its going to be a good summer- i have it all planned out.

Anyways going to go to sleep now because i know i have to get up in the morning and i know i have to do a list at some point for our script production and i promise you the next blog will be a much much much happier one!

x x x